Monday, February 28, 2011

I am a Marathon running champion

Recently I signed up for a gym, to at the very least keep me active during this last month or so of winter. Hopefully I will continue to go once the weather gets nice and just stay in super amazing shape. Well see how that goes though because my mind is constantly at war with whether or not I actually enjoy going to the gym.

Most of the time when I go I stick to the treadmills because generally those are the safest. The ellipticals are usually taken over by women that I see every single morning, that are very large and intimidating, and I am a little concerned that they are going in the wrong locker rooms. The weight machines it goes with out saying are usually being used by guys who just did steroids in the parking lot.

So far I can't decide if running in the gym has been a good thing or a bad thing. First of all it makes me feel like a marathon runner. Since it makes you move I feel like I can run forever and it totally boosts my self esteem I sometimes have races with the people on the treadmills around me and I am always the winner even if they get off before me. They just finished before me cause they knew they couldn't beat me and gave up... not because they have probably already run about five miles... the distance they ran before I got there doesn't count, and that's not my fault, I totally kicked their ass. If I finish before them well thats easy, I won the race, duh, the first one across the finish line wins.
Its kind of like in Big Daddy when the little boy is playing cards "I Win!"

On the other hand once I go back to running on the road again I am going to feel exactly 87 years old with congestive heart failure and muscle atrophy. Also, once I stop running and I am walking on the regular floor again it feels like my IQ level has dropped significantly and I forgot how to walk on my own, which is a huge problem because the locker rooms are down a set of stairs.  And finally, even though I feel like I can run forever, I still can only run about a mile and a half which is incredibly depressing.

1 comment: