But there is a picture involved to make up for the meaningless bitching....
So last night I texted my sister to see if she was planning on going to the gym, mainly because I am super socially awkward, and I wanted to try the weight machines... but not alone... never alone because then someone will ask if I need help, which I desperately do, but I always say no. And then I usually fumble around clearly having no idea what I am doing, and obviously needing loads of help, and with more than just the weight machines...
So shes all "well I have the day off tomorrow can we go at 8"
And I'm all "No I'm a super bitch and I'm gonna make you go at 7:30!!! Roar!!"
So this morning my alarm goes off at 6:30... 5 more minutes stupid alarm!
7:30 rolls around... oh damn slept through my alarm so I drag myself outta bed, get cooper outside, get dressed grab my shoes and water and run outta the house, get in the car to bolt to the gym, and realize my gas light is on. Another thing I have to worry about since I hate talking to just about anyone I dont know. Just thinking about having to talk to the gas station attendant made my heart rate rise a little
By the time I get to the gym, my sister is already pretty much done... cause Im a slacker and now the worlds biggest jerk cause I made her get up early on her day off just so I could sleep through my alarm and be mega late...
So we make our way over to the weight section and start using the machines. The walls are covered from floor to ceiling with mirrors, so not only do you feel silly doing an awkward repetitive motion in a crazy looking contraption, but you have to watch yourself doing it. Or make it a point not to look at yourself, which is difficult since the entire gym is literally covered in mirrors, so it kind of adds to the awkward feeling of using the machines. To top it off the big scary man on the machine next to you has about five different angles to stare at you and plan how to kill you since he is obviously a murderer he is that scary.... when in real life he is probably a cuddly teddy bear with a yorkie terrier that has a matching gym sweatsuit....
anywho, so then I started doing some exercises my physical therapist recommended ages ago and I never did, but because I have skeleton arms, I have to use a three pound weight... THREE POUND weight...
meanwhile scary man is sitting next to me watching himself in the mirror as he lifts what is probably a million pound weight. All I can picture in my head is the old school cartoons with the guys with the bodys that are shaped like upside down triangles wearing what looks like those creepy wrestling unitard things, lifting other triangle cinder block weights with "1000 lbs" written on the front;
or the guy from the planet fitness commercial and all he can say is "I lift things up and put them down"
After the gym I had to go to the gas station, but because I am insane, I refuse to go to a full station. Not because its expensive but because I hate talking to the attendant. I immediately think I sound like an idiot and go over the brief two second conversation in my head wondering if I said anything dumb...
The gas tank thing says I have about 8 miles left in my tank, so a heart attack later and I found myself at a full station which immediately sends me into a panic attack because I have to say "Hi, can I have $20 regular? Thanks"
Sometimes I wonder how I ever survived living on my own for three years with out ending up hiding in a closet rocking back and forth sucking my thumb
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