Monday, May 16, 2011

“Is this Hogwarts? And what happened to my bones?”

Ok so everyone already knows that I am a huge geek. I read Harry potter, and watched all the movies in such quick succession that I had dreams about them… a lot… and not the “Oh Harry” kind (which would make me really seriously concerned) but the “Holy crap I am flying on a broom and killing people” kind… almost every night at one point, and that embarrassing information is not even the point of this post.
            Not everyone knows that I sleep like a two year old. I HAVE to fall asleep on my stomach or my entire night is all messed up. Also, because I had an unhealthy amount of pacifiers when I was a toddler, I sleep with my hand in front of my mouth. I am pretty sure that’s because it’s the most socially acceptable replacement for a pacifier. No one wants to be the kid that still sucks their thumb at the sleep-overs. Sister does it too so that means I’m not weird… Because of this I end up with my arms under my body for most of the night which I am pretty sure if going to leave me horribly disfigured when I am old.
            These two factors combined with my limbs falling asleep at alarming rates these days lead to a somewhat frightening internal monologue one night…
            I woke up to find that my arm was so ridiculously sleep that I was literally shaking it like it wasn’t my arm. Like what is this dead random other persons arm doing in my bed. My next immediate thought in my half awake stupor was…
            “Holy crap! Am I in Hogwarts?... Someone stole my bones!... WTF is going on! This is some fucked up shit man… oh no… wait… ok… never mind… I’m in my room in my own bed…”
True story
I really did envision Hogwarts, like the scene in chamber of secrets when he falls off his broom and that idiot professor tries to help him but instead takes the bones out of his arm… that’s what I thought my arm looked like…
My next immediate thought was “Holy God, it’s a good thing no one was around to see this, I cant tell anyone…”
So of course I figured this would make a really good blog post…
Happy Monday!

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