Monday, June 13, 2011

Dunkin Donuts cups of insanity

I am not entirely sure when this whole thing started, but for some reason, my mother has a compulsive need to save dunkin' donuts cups. Plastic or Styrofoam it doesn't matter, every now and then a new one gets stashed away in the cabinets. She also saves the lids..... and the straws....

This drives me insane.

She even has a stash of Styrofoam cups at the store. One day I found part of the stash behind the counter, so I consolidated it to the back room, in two giant towers of cups. Two minutes after she walked into the store "Where are my cups!". Damn spidey sens..

Sometimes I try to throw one away when shes not looking to eat away at the stash and another one magically appears. Literally, I don't know where they came from. We only get Dunks now if were going out of town or something, so seriously... they must be breeding to keep their rebel numbers strong in the fight against me.

I've decided that shes crazy and I should let it go and just secretly hate it... like about 45 other things that she does that I don't think I will EVER understand...

And then I started making smoothies in the morning to bring to work so I don't get too hungry. (AWESOME idea, Greek yogurt and fruit and chocolate soy milk...mmmm...) For Christmas I got one of those Starbucks look- a - like plastic reusable stay cold but not sweat everywhere crazy cups in my stocking, so that's what I use for my smoothies. Unfortunately since I am naturally a blonde, if I have to remember more then three things at any given moment, anything extra will most definitely be forgotten about. I need to be one of those kids that has their address, schedule, and emergency contact info stapled to their bag, and their mittens attached via string through their jacket, and probably one of those hats with tie on ear flaps just for good measure....Anyways I left it at work and didn't realize it till I was making the next days smoothie. I had to use one of moms damn dunkin' donuts cups....

I think this made me more angry then the fact that she stashes them away...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Spend all your money! new glass!! yay!

New Esty listings! buy it now! yay money!

This guy is going for $80:
Buy me here!!


And this guy is going for $280
Buy me here! 
That is all, Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

the stained glass process

So I know you are all wondering how an amazing artist like myself goes about the "artistic process". Well... it goes a little something like this

1) Come up with a really epic amazing fantastic so freaking exciting idea for a window.

2) Do NOT write it down because you are SO freaking excited about it and its so awesome, that how could you possibly forget what it was

3) Immediately forget what the idea was.

4) Also immediately forget the fact that you had a really epic amazing fantastic freaking exciting window idea in the first place

5) Allow anywhere between 3 days and two weeks pass

6) Suddenly remember the idea at two in the morning and think you will remember what it was because, hello, it just woke you up from a peaceful slumber

7) Allow two more days to go by

8) FINALLY write down fantastic amazing idea

9) Give it another week or so for good measure, just to let the idea sink in

10) In a fit of creative energy begin drawing up said idea, but only after 8 or 9 at night

11) Edit drawing for insomniac induced insanity, and/or peices that are just not humanly possible with out a huge saw

12) Contemplate leaving in said insanity and using said saw

13) Remember saw is broken and curse the heavens, and remove crazy insanity

14) Allow another week go by because you don't want to talk to the squeeky oily teenager that works at the FedEx office copy center place

15) Finally make three copies of the design, roll them up and promptly leave them in the backseat of your car for three days

16) Pick out the glass you want to use, this could take anywhere from 20 minutes to a week because damnit that just isn't the right sage green and it has those weird circle-y things in the texture of the glass, and OMG it would look so cool for lily pads but this window doesn't have lily pads so I STILL NEED A NEW GREEN

17) Try REALLY REALLY hard not to throw things because they will shatter and also you cant throw tantrums anymore

18) Get over your fit and try to find those designs that you SWORE you brought into the house but they aren't in the studio and they aren't in your room, and they aren't in your designated spot of crap of the kitchen table so WHERE THE HELL... oh wait... yes.... they are in your car....

19) Finally start cutting out all the millions of pieces from the paper copies and laying them out on the glass, and start wondering why you like to do this so much, and why the hell you ALWAYS make sure there are at least ten really tiny peices and at least 7 really really hard to cut ones, and start hating yourself for making the design so hard

20) After you've cut at least 100 pieces, you also have to cut up little pieces of double sided tape, and peel the little backing off of it. You should probably start researching specialists in your area to treat the inevitable carpel tunnel you will have. That should actually probably be step one

21) Go back to all the pieces that have been so methodically taped on the glass (And make sure they are all going in the right "direction" because mom will DEFINITELY point that one out) and trace all of the pieces with a sharpie

22) Cut out and grind all of the pieces... this can take anywhere from a week to 3 months depending on how many pieces and how freaking excited you are about the window

23) Stab yourself at least 9 times, and slice yourself at least twice bad enough to probably need stitches

24) Go rock climbing because that's a really good idea to do immediately after slicing your hands open; the chalk stops the blood flow and I heard that's really healthy.

25) foil every single piece, sometimes multiple times. Make sure to do this late at night, and try to do the entire window all in one night, just to make sure you feel extra awesome the next day. You should probably also look into a masseuse

26) Get SUPER excited because its almost done and its going to look AWESOME

27) Solder

28) Immediately want to smash it on the ground because you are overly critical and not living up to your own expectations

29) Slip into a creative black hole for a few weeks

30) Repeat

Friday, June 3, 2011

Hes just not that into you

I have recently decided that chasing after this recent dream of mine is not much unlike dating a guy that just doesn't seem that into you. Not that I am currently there now, but I have been there in the past. You both play this game like things are going to change down the road, like maybe if you say things differently, or ignore his calls a few times he will think twice and for some reason it'll work out. And sometimes it does for a while and they will call back and hang out for a few weeks; inconsistent reinforcement is a bitch cause you never know when or where or how its coming. But when you get it is so reassuring, and you keep trying for the one random moment to hit you like a freight train. It feels so freakin' good too, like you won some sort of competition. And sometimes it works out in the end, other life factors work themselves out, stress factors relieve themselves so people can truly focus on what or who is going to make them happy. Which of course in turn makes you happy because you can finally be together with nothing holding you back. And other times it tears you in two for a little while, till all you can do is cry a little less every day until you can move on. The shitty thing is that this isn't just another guy I'm dating and I can't just walk away... so for right now I am stuck in the shitty cry a little every day phase. Silver lining though; I am figuring out a lot of other things that make me happy, which I have neglected to do in the past.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Boston Childrens Hospital part 2

OK time for some serious stuff...
This one time, when I was like... in the womb... doctors were all "Hey... that's definitely not good, time to come out" and I'm all "THANK GOD finally, shits goin' down.... and I don't feel so great, let me out!"
So then they were all like... "Ummm WTF?" and since I was so far into the "WTF" category, I was whisked away to a magical place called Boston Children's Hospital. 
As described here, this hospital is probably the definition of awesome.
Every time I return, it makes me reflect on about a bajillion things all at once, and its all so freaking overwhelming that I distract myself with the brightly colored things and the keyboard stairs.

For one, what the hell would have happened to me if I had no been born near this amazing hospital. And for another thing, as I am reading in The Work of Human Hands, my Dr. wasn't always so keen on being a Dr. so umm thanks guy for not deciding you hate medicine. Seriously though, miracle worker. When I was little he was already pretty up there in the age department. Hes still kickin' and sharp as a tack too, but the world is going to be less one really great man when he passes away. Reminder to self; make a visit... and soon...

Another thing that I cant help thinking of, is how that place is ALWAYS busy, all times of day and night, people are everywhere. There is never a single waiting room, doctors office, cafeteria, or cafe that is empty. Which leads into the "Holy crap, this many people have really sick children" and then the "Thank god they are here getting amazing medical care". It kind of makes me wish I had taken a more noble/heroic/whatever type of career path, social work, or nursing, or  medicine. But.. I didn't. I'm kind of a slacker and currently a drain on the economy (soon to change right?). So that just leaves me to say that there aren't words that can explain my gratitude to these nurses, and doctors, and everyone else that works in a place like this. Cause while I don't have the strength to do it, these people do it every day. They save lives, and they make miracles happen, and some day when I have children of my own, I know they would be there with open arms should I need them. So.. Thanks..